ANXIETY DESTROYS RELATIONSHIPS AND CAN CREATE AN UNHAPPY LIFE

You probably don’t want to live a life where anxiety destroys relationships.  Being stressed out can impact a person’s whole life.  It can really show up in intimate, family, personal and work relationships.  Nervousness can even cause the end of relationships.  Worrying about other people can hurt the relationship with that person. 

For instance, worry about money can erode a good marriage.  It is hard for a person who is stressed out to attend to the needs of a loved one.  It can be difficult to access love if a person is afraid. 

I have personal experience on the receiving end for everything in this message. 

There are 3 big ways anxiety can destroy relationships. 

#1 Anxiety destroys relationships when a person can’t find their inner joy

According to Bethany Bray, author of “Anxiety is the Thief of Joy”:

“Anxiety is the thief of joy.

That’s the twisted and unfair purpose of this restlessness. Anxiety steals your joy and hides it away until you’ve had your justified breakdown.

It fills your head with thoughts and ideas that are too sturdy to shake. They are powerful and they are convincing. They trap you inside of their stronghold and force you to adhere to the negativity that they generate. And while seemingly unbreakable, that’s when I had another essential realization: anxiety is built on lies.”

ACTION STEP: Be aware of whether or not you are discovering your inner joy on a daily basis.  This can have an impact on all of your relationships. 

You are the creator of your life and relationships.  You need to have fun to keep yourself and your relationships healthy.

#2 Overreacting to situations can be another way that anxiety destroys relationships

Some people who are worried can become really stressed out over small problems that come up.  For instance, getting really angry is an airplane is 15 minutes late.  A small thing can be made into a big problem, when there really isn’t a problem.  And this negative energy can poison everyone in the area, including a spouse, a family member, a friend or a work associate.

Peace for everyone can be lost if one person gets upset.  Mountains can be made out of mole hills.  If this happens on a regular basis, this can be very toxic for relationships. 

Some people go to a worst-case scenario when a challenge comes up.  As there are challenges every day, this can make things difficult for everyone. 

ACTION STEP: Notice how you handle “problems”.  Do you accept what is or do you get really upset when things don’t go your way? 

Being upset when things don’t happen the way you think they should can create unhappiness for you and everyone around you. 

The key: If you are not finding your joy and handling challenges in a powerful way, you can create stress for yourself and everyone else. 

Be aware of your behavior.  Are you calm or are you nervous much of the time?  You are generating your life and you can create it that way you want it.  And this will impact everyone around you. 

#3 Being overly critical is another way anxiety destroys relationships

In Carina Wolff’s article “9 Habits of People with Hidden Anxiety”, she talks about how anxious people can be critical of others:

“Being critical of others often comes from people who are very critical of themselves, especially when there’s underlying anxiety,” says Kelsey Torgerson, an anxiety specialist. “When someone with hidden anxiety holds others to high standards, they probably have even higher standards for themselves.”

ACTION STEP: Notice if you are critical of yourself and others.  Be aware of how that makes you feel and how it makes them feel.  What impact does that have on your relationship with that person?

Anxiety can create trouble in relationships.  It can show up as a lack of joy.  Stress can show up as overreacting to situations.  And being worried can show up as being critical of yourself and others.  Each one of these issues is toxic to all relationships and creates unhappiness for you and everyone else. 

You can change all of this anytime you want.  It starts by being aware.  It does not have to be true for you that anxiety destroys relationships.

To your happiness😊

Jim Twomey

Tucson’s Depression and Anxiety Breakthrough Specialist

Founder and CEO of Peace for You